Sun, May. 14th, 2006, 10:14 pm
This is me feeling utterly helpless and alone, this is me feeling like everything I do and say is misunderstood. This is me feeling like the ultimate leech, the unwanted and uninvited house guest. This is me, alone, on a Sunday night, in the dark. I can't take anymore days like this.
Tonight I cried for the first time since I found out my Mom is sick again, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing up here.
So I haven't been around for a while but I'm living in Minnesota now. I manage a parking ramp in downtown Minneapolis which is better than it sounds, I also bar tend at a golf course a couple nights a week. I live in my Dad's basement still, but I'm moving in the next month (not sure where yet).
It's really hard meeting new people in a place where you don't know anyone. It's the only reason I want to move back to Arizona, friends.
A couple months after I moved up here, my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, it makes trying to start up in a new place a lot harder. She's going through treatment now, and hopefully she'll be okay.
(The Garden State soundtrack is pretty awesome)
...where the weather's getting colder, and people are changing. Maybe you could leave a light on for me.
See ya later AZ, don't know when I'm coming back.
Sun, Mar. 13th, 2005, 03:25 am
I built lots of Ikea furniture this weekend, it's nice having money.
...and there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last.
The internets are boring, I'm going to sleep now...
...like an exasperating friend.
what the fuck.
Sun, Oct. 17th, 2004, 07:06 pm
I need to figure something out, life dances around me like little devils with pitch forks, cackling as they wait for me to get up before they poke again.
But lately, it seems like it's one thing after another. It's getting harder to get up.
My Grandpa was going to have some work done on his heart, it turns out it was way to bad to do what they wanted to do. He's 80-years-old they won't let him leave the hospital for fear he'll have a massive heart attack and tomorrow he's having non-invasive bypass surgery, a redo of the operation he had 20 years ago.
My Grandpa isn't an old man, he's active, (plays golf 4 times a week) and he's still sharp mentally.
I have to be at the hospital at 5am tomorrow, I can't sleep, my grandpa is the center of our family, he's been like my father, I can't imagine life without him.
Wed, Sep. 22nd, 2004, 12:17 am
I'm in school, it's hard work, I'm exhausted.......